Feeling Stuck
For these last couple of months in my life, I have really been feeling stuck in life. I am currently not working and don’t have a reliable income. I have bills that are coming past due and I don’t really know what to do. I am unable to sleep at night and am feeling unmotivated to do really anything in life but to just lay down, scroll social media, watch YouTube videos, and listen to music. My hygiene has also taken a dip and I am not looking over my care as much as I was previously. All of these things are unproductive to what I am trying to accomplish in my life. I know they are, and yet for some reason, I am still procrastinating my future and just not doing anything to make my situation better. It is a place that I have for sure been at before, and it’s a place I do not like to be. Maybe it is a depressive state that I am in. I am not really sure. I just know it is a feeling that I do not like and a place where I know I need to try and get out of as soon as I can so that I am able to get back enjoying my life.
It is amazing to me how the human mind works. Once you are in a pattern you fall into that pattern pretty quickly. Especially if it is a place of comfort and a place where you know that you are safe. I need to get out of that safe zone and get out of that comfort zone that I am in. I was doing great for a while. For some reason or another though, it seems to have disappeared. Was it also because I was just content with being mediocre? Again, I am not sure. With this blog post, I am just writing out some of my ideas and trying to come up with answers myself while writing. This is one of the best ways that I know how to problem-solve. Just creating things. It could be writing down my problems, writing a poem, making YouTube videos, writing songs, writing blog posts, writing a journal entry, asking myself questions, and contemplating on them while I listen to music. Anything to try and get my ideas out. It is therapeutic for me. Something that I know I need to do more of is working on things that I want to work on and actually enjoy. For far too long I have just been doing nothing productive. It is crazy to me because I can identify what the issue is, for some reason, I am unable to fix the issue.
One thing that I am needing to start doing more often is waking up early like I was previously. 5 am is the time that I have decided on. Going to sleep on time is another thing that I am needing to work on doing instead of staying on my phone all day and not being productive at all. Working out when I wake up is another good thing that I am needing to make sure that I am doing. Since my hygiene has fallen off as well, I am going to get back onto that as well. I know it sounds obvious but for the state of mind I have been in I have just not been caring. Creating more and consuming less content is something that I am wanting to do as well. I have been watching way too much YouTube as well as scrolling on social media worried about what other people are doing, and I have not been making enough content that I have been wanting to. I have just been making notes and not following up on those ideas. Reading is something that I enjoy so I think that I will also pick that up again as well.
There are a lot of things that I have just been ignoring and it is time for me to get back to it. There are also things that I have been giving attention to that I am needing to stop giving my attention to. So it is time for me to start doing what I am needing to.
